Airsoft Jokes
 

ok here's the idea guys...make up jokes about airsoft and airsoft only, and please guys...don't rip off other jokes, make up your own. I'll start...

- The only reason your teammates tell you to keep your head down is so u can't see them laughing at you.

- Alberta airsofters like the frontal attacks, Manitoba players like the sneaky rear attacks, Saskatchewan players always seem to be taking it both ways.

- I find bb's in my boots alot...but only because i'm walking all over the competition.

- The funniest thing in airsoft is to send a newbie into an ambush only for him to realize the safety is on.

- I have amazing aim when I shoot my airsoft gun. I have never missed a single shot before, I hit the trees and the bushes and the ground....

- Airsoft is like drinking, it starts off with just a few shots, but before you know it your lying on the ground yelling for help.

- Men use hand signals on the airsoft field not for communication but because when they get back home their wife becomes the instructor.

- Married men who play airsoft love to go full auto because back at home they never get to blow their load of little white attackers.

- Airsoft is fun till a rookie gets shot...then it becomes hilarious.

- A sidearm is like viagra, when the big gun won't work, we rely on a small thing to do the job for it.

- Every good airsofter knows what guns are good and which are bad...every bad airsofter just knows which ones hurt more.

- Stealth in airsoft is like getting a "hummer", as long as your teammates keep their head down and keep moving their safe...but as soon as they lift their head past the "bush" they get a blast of white stuff right to the face.

The last one's the best!

wow...i am truly shocked, like actually genuinely shocked no1 is posting here.

Airsoft is serious business:D

Some of them are awesome lol:D

"Airsoft is like BDSM... you know you've had a good time if you leave with alot of extra welts"

The words of Confucius
"He who looks down barrel looks down nothing else."

i can't even think of more jokes cause i'm zoned out on ALLGAR's avatar lol

The airsoft and drinking one is awesome

haha thx Dj...

Funny stuff.

- Airsoft is like a woman...once you're committed, it starts sucking the money out of you.

- "I took one in the mouth" simply does not carry the same connotation off the field.

- Never accuse a guy with a big rifle of having a small gun. If he's big enough to carry that thing, he probably swings it pretty hard too.

- Melding springs. Do I need to say more?

- Airsoft gun: $675. Loadout: 1.5k Bag of .25g BBs: $20. Realizing Milsim is just a step above LARPing: Priceless.

- Airsofters: creeping out eavesdroppers since the 80s. "Oh man, I just got my AK in the mail today!"

- Canadian airsoft: It's like Stalag 13. No one gets contraband in or out...right.

- More to follow when I don't have to do work.

Sigged!

beautifully said, and soo true. ( reminds me of my friend and i the other day.)

- a new airsoft gun is like having a child. when you first get it your gentle and caring, but as time goes on when it doesn't wanna do wat it's supposed to do you feel like smackin the hell out of it.

- Airsoft guns hurt, modded airsoft guns hurt more...but neither compare to the ass whoopin' u get when your wife sees the bill.

- you know you play too much airsoft when your wife tells you to do something and you say "copy that"

hahahahah nice, and so true.

- I was once asked if airsoft guns hurt, so i shot them...they then persued in asking me why i did that...so i shot them again for asking such a dumb question

- When you know your mailman on a first name basis, you know you buy way too much shit.

- When you start moving furniture out of your room so you can fit more gear in it, you know you're an airsofter.

- When retrieving clothing from the washer/dryer and find BB's rolling around inside, you know you're an airsofter.

- When you call in sick from work just to be there at the door for when your gun arrives, you know you're an airsofter.

- Paintball is the special olympics of airsoft.

- You tell yourself over and over again "Food is more important." Twenty minutes after your pay cheque comes, you're as broke as you were twenty minutes earlier.

you know your an airsofter when your having sex with a girl, and find a bb stuck to her ass

- you know you're an airsofter when you write down the total u spent on airsoft and people think it's ur phone number.

hahahahah, jesus man, thats awesome. i cant believe it hasnt happend to me and the wifey yet. shes too clean i guess.

- Paintball is the special olympics of airsoft.




ROFLMAO! So true! That is gonna be my new motto!

[QUOTE=FNG_13;834957]- Airsofters: creeping out eavesdroppers since the 80s. "Oh man, I just got my AK in the mail today!"

So true,i spoke in my cegep about the fact i will get my Shotgun Stinger34P soon (im new to airsoft so ill try it in a game in december, if i like ill buy a more decent replica), and some student ask us if it was a true shotgun or a toy.

- Your landlady asks about the two dozen small white pellets that somehow got into the mechanism and broke a $600 washing machine, and you subtly try to hide the two million more on your floor.

- Halloween is just an excuse to wear your gear in public/to a club.

You know your an airsofter when you take a woman home and she asks if you have protection and you throw on your goggles.

Also sigged!! :D

Seeing the look on someones face when they over hear that you unloaded on another guy.

you know you play too much airsoft when you hear a out-of-place noise in your home, and the first thing you do is find cover

-You know your an airsofter when you spend money just to store your extra gear.

-When your maillady gets proggressively better looking the larger your airsoft orders are...

ORDER MORE!

- if you have to take more than one breath when listing out your equipment, you might be an airsofter.

- if you have ever heard a noise outside and u grabbed your sidearm to look out the window to see if some1 is thr, you might be an airsofter.

- an airsoft gun is like another man's girl, it has a bunch of interesting parts that noobies don't know and veterans aren't stupid enough to touch.

- airsoft is technically a porn movie...it involves getting taken from behind, getting balls in the face and then a load blasted all over your chest.

- if you can say you've had another man's tiny balls in your mouth with a straight face, you might be an airsofter.

- if you can hear you wallet crying at night, you might be a...hmm, no...then you're definitely an airsofter

- It's funny how people sometimes forget your callsign, like this one time i shot a teammate and they called me "a$$hole"

I was told about six months ago that airsoft guns are not allowed to be shipped or brought into Canada. Now i'm seeing this website for the first time and i'm shocked. How do you guys do it? Actually the question is... is it legal in all parts of Canada? I have myself here in Hong Kong about a dozen different modded guns that i want to bring home to Vancouver... and i really don't want to sell it, have it confiscated(at customs), or thrown away. What do i do? Please help!! Thanks guys... and i love the jokes and comments!!

Oh yeah, speaking of airsoft... what do you guys enjoy playing with? (I like a nice curvacious woman)... I mean what type of guns do you guys like to play with?

:banghead:

k first...this is the wrong thread for that question so plz delete all 3 posts as i will do the same with this one after you. secondly, you can't import guns into canada, neither by yourself nor by a company. the only way to have guns in canada is to get age verified and buy off the buy and sell boards here, find a canadian retailer, or find another site with buy and sell and buy(within canada) 3rd, just edit ONE of your posts...don't make 3 separate ones. fourthly, please read the rules, facts, FAQ's and guide topic's in the noob help sections about your questions and/or use the search option and search for keywords for wat you are asking. for you to bring those over almost guaranteed won't happen, ESPECIALLY THRU AN AIRPORT! Now i ask you to delete these posts please and either post them somewhere else or that this answered ur questions u won't post again. thx

moderators, please delete these posts as soo as one of you read this one...delete this one after as well thx.

NOONE REPLY TO HIS POSTS PLZ OR THIS ONE FOR THAT MATTER!!! I do not want spam on this thread thank you.


cheeseduck

Say what? Try aren't stupid enough NOT to touch. I don't know about you but I like touching those parts.

srry...i forgot part of it ahaha, didn't go from head to paper right. was supposed to be "another man's girl"

You hear "Crosman" and feel sick.

- there is no such thing as an airsofter with a drinking or drug problem, only alcoholics and drug addicts with an airsoft problem.

- When you are watching Scarface with your friends and shout : "Man! He's gonna blow his mechbox!" You know you are an airsofter.

- When your homepage on your web browser is Airsoft Canada, need less to say.

- When a single says to his friends at the bar : "I stayed up all night because my baby was sick."

All I can think about tonight.

G'night all!

I lol'd at the Scarface one

...or Jesse "The Body" Ventura & his Man Portable Mini-Gun in "Predator"

http://www.theschalter.com/ammo/imag...1987_blain.jpg

http://i31.tinypic.com/2yvwe3m.gif

You know you've had too much airsoft when watching war movies you keep asking "I wonder how much FPS do their guns have" and wondering if they're using low-caps, mid-caps or hi-caps.

When your watching a movie and not only do you know that the props they are using are airsoft, but you can also tell the make.

You know you're an airsofter when someone asks you a question about RS and you answer with the gun company and then the make. Needless to say, it wasn't until after my friend asked me about the sniper rifle the German was using in Enemy at the Gates that i realised he was using a Mauser Kar98k, not a Tanaka =P
oh boy! talk about airsoft addicted.

ahhhh, gun safety

You know your addicted to airsoft when you channel changer has a stalk and scope attached to it.

You know your an airsofter when, u've bought enough propane to last the average camper a DECADE.

your an airsofter when you reload your clicky pencil wile saying "changing mags"

Airsoft joke: airsoft M203s

heyoooooooooooooooo

So true i swear my neighbors think somethings up that the fact my recycle bin always has a half dozen propane canisters in it.

when your 3000$ credit card statement has only Airsoft Parts/gear/guns bills on it and its maxed. this is also true I just got my statement today:(

When you get your paycheck and your wife says everytime "NO YOUR NOT GETTING ANOTHER GUN!!!!!!!"......True again

Now for the airsoft joke.
my team and i were sitting on the feild when a 16 yearold paintballer goes walking by. NOTE he has spike multicolored hair, and every time he would walk by he would see us staring at him. Till finally he came over and said "whats your problem old man(im 35) never do anything crazy when you were younger. this was obviously a shot at me. Without missing a beat my brother says "Ya he got stoned and fucked a peacock, we were all just wondering if you were his kid.

:D

You know you're an airsofter when Windows pop up "insufficient virtual memory" and you look up and can't count the number of tabs in your browser...

And you're only researching russian BDUs...

Time to change the computer...wait, that means one less gun...fuck it-reboot.

DUDE! You WIN! +1 Internet for you!

LOL!!!

I was at a paintball field for my buddies b-day (i cheated on airsoft :( ) anyway some 12 year old has one of the best paintball guns built 1000$ and there parrents drive up buy him some paint, best quality and im stuck with a rental. where on opposite teams and he just lights me up in the chest with 8 paintballs. As i was walking by he was like dude you fucking suck. Replying back to him i said go to walmart and buy a airsoft gun and lets meet back here and see if you can talk smack. Him replying ill get my momi to buy me the best gun available bitch!

heres the punch line!!!

he got a grenade to the face fell over cracked his 300$ barrel over a rock and yelled MOMI i got lit up like you did from daddy that one day!!!

i swear that my life only lived for that moment

I hope that you were on the paintball field. ;)

Airsoft Jokes... Hmm

stealthy with Highcaps

it is possible to be stealthy with a high cap if you fill it all the way up the BBs don't have enough room to rattle.

EPIC

You know your an airsofter ,when you walk by a cute chick and think ,man shes got a nice lower reciever!

That got a snicker from me....though I'm more into uppers myself

You know you're an airsofter when you have more gear than clothes in your closet.

You know you're an airsofter if you have a seperate savings account for gun magazines. (30rnd Pmags especially)

You're definately an airsofter if your guns are worth more than the blackbook value of your car(s).

You're an airsofter if you own/watch more gun porn than regular porn.

quoted for truth I do that all the time watching movies.. great when you see the little gas intake valves on the bottom of pistols...

These ant jokes... it's more like quotes.

You know your an airsofter when you see a girl and say "Damn, I'd let her clean my barrel anyday".

:D

hahahaha sigged man, this is just incredible

you know you are an airsofter when you are designing a house and your airsoft locker is the most secure room in the house and has better door than your entrance.

when you see a hot lady and think "dam i'd waste my high cap on her anyday"

Hi Friends.
- A new airsoft gun is like having a child. when you first get it your gentle and caring, but as time goes on
when it doesn't wanna do wat it's supposed to do you feel like smackin the hell out of it.
- Airsoft guns hurt, modded airsoft guns hurt more...but neither compare to the ass whoopin' u get when your wife sees the bill.
- Airsoft is like a woman...once you're committed, it starts sucking the money out of you.
Thanks.

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q...s/scan0002.jpg
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q...s/scan0003.jpg
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q...s/scan0004.jpg
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q...s/scan0001.jpg

Five-Six, those made my day!

You know you're an Airsofter when you can't go to Port Credit without stopping at Army Issue and spending $100+

hi-cappas. theres a joke.

actually had it happen, then she sat down next to me and wondered why her butt hurt :P

A black man it's like an airsoft player, he love shooting white stuff with his big black gear :D

and for the noods that want to be snipers
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q...toons/upg3.jpg

dont steal someone elses joke....

16 reasons why having a airsoft is like having a girlfriend/wife

1. They may look like a good deal when you're shopping around (assuming you can afford it to start), but they're just trying to deceive you.

2. They're extremely high maintanance, physically and emotionally, despite what you may be told to the contrary.

3. As soon as you got one, you'll want to "trade up".

4. No matter how beautiful you think she is, you'll inevitably end up buying little baubles and trinkets to doll her up (more money to put out).

5. If you don't show her some affection and take her out once in a while, that sexy purring noise will quickly turn into an annoying whine .... and you'll have broken balls to show for it.

6. No matter which one you've got and how hot she is, some other guy has always got a better one.

7. I prefer mine to be succinct and to the point (sniper). Other guys prefer ones that chatter not-stop ... to each his own.

8. It doesn't threaten my masculinity to let her do all the talking. Sometimes she can get the point across better than I can.

9. You don't want a whore. Face it. If 50 guys have had their way with her, she'll be missing a few teeth and be loose in the box.

10. It's embarassing when you're with your friends and she starts venting gas.

11. Re: point #10, any woman who tells you this never happens is lying.

12. A biggie. Don't screw with someone elses!

13. Another biggie. Screw with mine and I'll cut your head off.

14. No matter how beautiful, helpful, etc. she is, you will eventually develop the urge to take her out into the forest and pump a full mag through her.

15. I wouldn't trust Tru to be alone with her unsupervised.

16. Men can't live without them. Any guy who tells you otherwise is lying or gay.

I don't know if this fits here. Made me laugh though ")
 

These are some of my favourite days ")